0n…..Violence, cowardice and being sensible.
Friday, March 04, 2005"There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people."
Muhammad Ali
Muhammad Ali
Shaun Brian's corollary:
"There are more pleasant things to do than be beaten up by people."
Let's get one thing straight, according to some, I am a bit of a coward, in my terms a pacifist. I do not feel the need to prove my point at the risk of a broken nose. I do not feel the need to escalate a situation of potential (or actual) violence to prove my point, or to prove that I am a man. I avoid physical confrontation at all cost. Often this is not too much of a problem for me, being 6 foot three and weighing 100kg. I use my reluctance for conflict as a tool, I appear confident, therefore the opposition doesn't really want to find out whether I am a black belt or a sheep in wolf's clothing. (The name of Shaun should give them a hint).
I have a background that involves a stint as an officer in the infantry and as being the head of a security company that provided training for close protection officers, better known as bodyguards. These points on my CV seem to indicate that I would welcome a good fight. I don't. At this stage of my life, I believe that I have better things to do. Due to my training, as well as due to my ability to judge character at 100yards, I always enter a room/venue/club and try and spot the troublemakers. You know the one's I mean, the short guy who has a point to prove, the guy shouting about his last fight, the guy with a gun at his ankle, the guy wearing the karate suite. Once I have done this, I avoid them. I make no conversation with them and if they jostle me, bump me, spill drinks on me or insult my friends, I do not comment or retaliate in any way. I simply try and lose myself in the background and appear as if I am not worth confronting.
As an extra defence, I always make a point of befriending the bouncers at the clubs I go to - I am not gushing, just friendly and I never expect a free entry. Most of them warm to me, and if some tosser gets out of hand, I simply defer to them - after all, they are paid to fight. I have angered one or two potential heavy-weight contenders by inviting them to take the fight outside, walking out with them and promptly turning and heading straight back in. While the bouncers refuse them re-entry. This usually costs about 200 bucks and staying at the club until my foe passes out, leaves out of boredom, or finds an alternative contender, add another 200 to my bar bill.
Sometimes though, things can go wrong. The most common cause of this is an ignorant friend (I am avoiding saying woman with the greatest restraint). I don't know what it is, but some people just gravitate towards the "bad boy" in the room. Often this is fine, but sometimes that bad boy has no brains, no sense of humour and a recently acquired black belt in the most violent of martial arts.
To make things worse, when you tell your friend to avoid this weapon of mass destruction at all costs, they seem to think that it is an invitation to form an alliance with them and to discuss you and your weaknesses at length - I speak from experience.
Once, we came across just such a character: a Neanderthal of little brain-power, and lightning fast hands that made Jacky Chan look like he performs in slow motion. Add to this a venue with no bouncers and the only potential male support a group of gay ex-ballerinas, and you will understand my predicament. Now all of this could have been avoided had my beloved then better-half listened to my early advice of "steer clear", but the darling that she is simply had to initiate a conversation, and involve me in it. I wont go into details, but things got nasty fairly quickly. Fortunately I was not present for the first smack that some 52 kg queen received. I heard all about it though (We had vacated the previous venue and moved on; the only sensible move made all night). While in the middle of describing what they would love to do to the Neanderthal, in he walked, heard the story and administered the second short, sharp smack to another member of our party. (no more rouge needed now!)
At this stage it was time to go, I was certain. But no, by now my dearly beloved had decided that her evening was not going to be ruined by this jerk, and so tried to explain to him how he a had ruined her evening. My heart was now pounding, and not in anticipation, but with unbridled fear. To make it worse, everyone was now looking to me to sort out said Neanderthal. Well, this called for action, and action I took. I called my bouncer friends and asked them to please come and sort the problem out.
They did, thank God. I felt like a coward, but when I think about it now, I know I made the right decision - and here is my point - there is no point in fighting a battle you cannot win, and if you have the right friends, who says you have to fight your own battles.
My survival advice is as follows: don't escalate the problem unless it is life threatening, do not react. Rely on professionals. Lose the first battle to win the war - put pride in your pocket.
But just in case my cell goes on the blink, and I can't call my friends, as of tomorrow, I am back in the Dojo.
Let's get one thing straight, according to some, I am a bit of a coward, in my terms a pacifist. I do not feel the need to prove my point at the risk of a broken nose. I do not feel the need to escalate a situation of potential (or actual) violence to prove my point, or to prove that I am a man. I avoid physical confrontation at all cost. Often this is not too much of a problem for me, being 6 foot three and weighing 100kg. I use my reluctance for conflict as a tool, I appear confident, therefore the opposition doesn't really want to find out whether I am a black belt or a sheep in wolf's clothing. (The name of Shaun should give them a hint).
I have a background that involves a stint as an officer in the infantry and as being the head of a security company that provided training for close protection officers, better known as bodyguards. These points on my CV seem to indicate that I would welcome a good fight. I don't. At this stage of my life, I believe that I have better things to do. Due to my training, as well as due to my ability to judge character at 100yards, I always enter a room/venue/club and try and spot the troublemakers. You know the one's I mean, the short guy who has a point to prove, the guy shouting about his last fight, the guy with a gun at his ankle, the guy wearing the karate suite. Once I have done this, I avoid them. I make no conversation with them and if they jostle me, bump me, spill drinks on me or insult my friends, I do not comment or retaliate in any way. I simply try and lose myself in the background and appear as if I am not worth confronting.
As an extra defence, I always make a point of befriending the bouncers at the clubs I go to - I am not gushing, just friendly and I never expect a free entry. Most of them warm to me, and if some tosser gets out of hand, I simply defer to them - after all, they are paid to fight. I have angered one or two potential heavy-weight contenders by inviting them to take the fight outside, walking out with them and promptly turning and heading straight back in. While the bouncers refuse them re-entry. This usually costs about 200 bucks and staying at the club until my foe passes out, leaves out of boredom, or finds an alternative contender, add another 200 to my bar bill.
Sometimes though, things can go wrong. The most common cause of this is an ignorant friend (I am avoiding saying woman with the greatest restraint). I don't know what it is, but some people just gravitate towards the "bad boy" in the room. Often this is fine, but sometimes that bad boy has no brains, no sense of humour and a recently acquired black belt in the most violent of martial arts.
To make things worse, when you tell your friend to avoid this weapon of mass destruction at all costs, they seem to think that it is an invitation to form an alliance with them and to discuss you and your weaknesses at length - I speak from experience.
Once, we came across just such a character: a Neanderthal of little brain-power, and lightning fast hands that made Jacky Chan look like he performs in slow motion. Add to this a venue with no bouncers and the only potential male support a group of gay ex-ballerinas, and you will understand my predicament. Now all of this could have been avoided had my beloved then better-half listened to my early advice of "steer clear", but the darling that she is simply had to initiate a conversation, and involve me in it. I wont go into details, but things got nasty fairly quickly. Fortunately I was not present for the first smack that some 52 kg queen received. I heard all about it though (We had vacated the previous venue and moved on; the only sensible move made all night). While in the middle of describing what they would love to do to the Neanderthal, in he walked, heard the story and administered the second short, sharp smack to another member of our party. (no more rouge needed now!)
At this stage it was time to go, I was certain. But no, by now my dearly beloved had decided that her evening was not going to be ruined by this jerk, and so tried to explain to him how he a had ruined her evening. My heart was now pounding, and not in anticipation, but with unbridled fear. To make it worse, everyone was now looking to me to sort out said Neanderthal. Well, this called for action, and action I took. I called my bouncer friends and asked them to please come and sort the problem out.
They did, thank God. I felt like a coward, but when I think about it now, I know I made the right decision - and here is my point - there is no point in fighting a battle you cannot win, and if you have the right friends, who says you have to fight your own battles.
My survival advice is as follows: don't escalate the problem unless it is life threatening, do not react. Rely on professionals. Lose the first battle to win the war - put pride in your pocket.
But just in case my cell goes on the blink, and I can't call my friends, as of tomorrow, I am back in the Dojo.
Footnote:
The Reluctant Messiah's advice on physical confrontation:
"Talk fast, think faster, run fastest."
This entry was posted
on Friday, March 04, 2005 at 3/04/2005 12:26:00 AM.
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7:35 AM
I agree with early diffusion of any situation of violence, and also that at times it is unavoidable.
One thing I have learnt and witnessed is that in the right situation, anyone can beat anyone in a fight. Never presume the result.
I have also seen a 7th Dan 50year old beat a group of about 7 without raising a finger through sheer aura and confidence.
As Mike Bernardo, World K1 champ, World heavy weight boxing title holder and Ultimate Fight champ, commented, "if you've never had a fight, you've lost a lot less times than I have."
My problem is that I probably have a deep rooted fear of something (like pain and humiliation), and because of this, and because of various previous situations, I kind of only know one speed, and that is totaly inapprpriate for most normal situations.
In this particular example I was 100% right. Although my posting is humerous, and has a lot of tongue firmly in cheeck, the reality was that I realised that this guy wasn't going to push beyond a slap with someone who didn't push back.
I also guessed that if I was to push back as hard as I am prone to, we would have a problem.
As it turned out this guy was the world medium weight Thai boxing champion, so the chances are I would have had my arse kicked or he would be dead, neither of which was an option.
Also, in my City there is a definate order and control to these issues. ALL the city clubs use the same company on their doors, and so you can imagine that there is seldom a serious fight, and by defering to proffesionals in this case, prevents violence.
I will do a piece on the firearms soon, and my feelings on this. We could certainly debate this, I think.