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The Knife of Shaun Brian

Cutting comments, sharp wit, subjects blade bare, pointed remarks? Are images carved and stories double-edged? Or is it just a stab in the dark with blunted prose and dull verse? Is his pen mightier than the sword, or more like a picnic knife: plastic, useless, disposable and showing no mettle. These are the writings of a reluctant Mess-I-are.

On Verbal Aikido/Hari Kiri..

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Eastern sword fight
I love debate. I will play devil's advocate just for the hell of it. I will test my own core values, on a regular basis, through structured argument. The Wonderful, Weird, Web is full of people who want to 'engage in meaningful debate' and recently I have found some really interesting sites that contain diverse points of view and arguments. I have chosen to participate in some of these discussions, which is unusual for me, because the sites have been intelligent and the arguments stimulating.

Then along came Jarrett. The course of events leading up to this can be followed on the site of theworldaccordingtonome.

Now, if you are going to comment, beware. I believe in verbal Aikido, because Aikido is a martial art that 'focuses not on punching or kicking opponents, but rather on using their own energy to gain control of them or to throw them away from you.' So I use your words and argument as a form of redirection. The harder you hit me, the harder it comes back. Hari Kiri is the art of falling on your own sword, (even if it is blunt!) so if you carry a weapon, make sure you know which way it is pointing!

I will therefore go through Jarred's comment point by point, and let's see what happens. Sorry Jarred this is nothing personal, but you were warned:

'Darn it, number 9, you totally took away my favourite saying, and stole part of the mighty thunder I planned upon unleashing via my own blog! '

Are you referring to the Armageddon comment and is that sarcasm or what? Be specific. What are you saying? So somebody stole your thunder?

'that's okay, though. Any decent student of history would realize that big words does not an argument make.'

What big words, where? Words in the right order, that are relevant, make an argument. Note the relevant part. Obviously you are not an English major (see later point) as it is 'do', not 'does'.

' Not only that, but foreign analogies (IE referring to Asian history, a topic foreign to most) only work when they're comparable analogies, which those of Nome are not. '

Asia has the worlds largest population by far, over half of it in FACT. (3,3100 million people). Therefore Asian history is not a foreign topic to most. Most of the world has a vested interest in the history of at least their small piece of Asia. The history of any country apart from your land of birth is a 'foreign' topic. Perhaps Asian history is a topic about which your immediate circle knows little, but I thought you were classing yourself as 'decent student of history', and thus you should know something about Asian history. And by the way Iraq is in Asia, so it is relevant.

The analogies are not relevant because...?

To quote Monty Python, (which does seem relevant here):
'Customer:
Yes, but an argument isn't just contradiction!
Argumentator:
Well, can be.
Customer:
No, an argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a proposition.
Argumentator:
No, it isn't!
Customer:
Yes, it is! It isn't just contradiction! '

At this stage we still have no argument, only....I reserve judgment.

'My favourite part of her argument, though, is the troll tactics... "I don't care," or "this isn't a place to debate politics" or whatever are quite common, but then she starts spewing out her own rhetoric (perhaps to impress herself) while taking a moral high ground. A supposed shroud of moral superiority emerges, constructed on the basis of faulty reasoning.'

My only comment on this is 'You too can make meaningless diatribes like this by visiting "www.cutandpastepoliticalspeeches.crap"* '

'But hey, we can't point out that she's wrong.'

Is that because she is right, or because you don't have the faculties?

'After all, open discoure is only at her own behest! '

Jarrett, way too much time in the classics, boy, 'behest!' I ask you with tears in my eyes. Oscar Wilde thought that 'behest' was 'behest' left in 1642.

'Typical English major: "Okay, I don't care... you know more than me, you can out-reason me, you seem to have all the facts, but I don't care. That, and I have a life, so I would be right and would prove you right if I were as boring as you, and if I had spent as much time as you did researching. But I have a life. Doesn't matter, because even so, I'm still convinced I'm right." '

As a last resort, or retort, lets just box the individual. When last did you hear this from an English major? Maybe an English minor, or an English miner, but not from an English Major (Is he a soldier in Iraq as well?).! If anyone has ever said this to you, a little pointer, it was said with a large dose of sarcasm and irony.

I can also see how much research you have done, was that at the school of www.learntosayfuckallinathousandormorewords.stpd?*

Jarrett, if you want to participate, participate. Use the research you have done, and quote it.

I do not mean this personally, but remember I use Aikido, the harder you hit, the harder you fall...on your own sword. Get the point?

To see some sensible debate about an alternative point of view to mine visit Brad.

P.S. The two sites marked* are not real, unfortunately, but I think I will actually create them!

On Bush, War, Fair logic, and Christians...

Tuesday, March 08, 2005


This was inspired by the site of Brad, which I discovered through theworldaccordingtonome The comments on these sites are more serious than the following piece.

America, George W. Bush, The War on Terror. Even at the furthest tip of Africa we feel the effect of, take your pick, American Imperialism/American Aid/American Values/American Consumerism/ American Comedy. With the growing realisation and evidence of American Pie-fingering, and the collapse of Communism as we feared it, the difference between the 'good guy ' and the 'bad guys' is becoming less clear.

The easiest target for ridicule is George W. Bush. Let's face it, he's no Mark Shuttleworth (Rocket Scientist, in South African!). He has mounted his own 'War of Terror' on the English language, and his folksy attitude makes us all feel safe at night, because maybe there is not too much pontificationating going on at the White House. Is that Langley in the shadows of the Oval Office I see?

So is Bush all bad? Is he the lesser of two evils, I have no real informed clue, but here are some thoughts:

In most Political races, as in America, there is usually a choice between 'Bad' and 'Worse'. There is a very simple reason for this: To want to create a career in politics, and then to succeed to that degree, you need to have a certain personality. The defining characteristics would tend to be arrogance, a monstrous ego, a blinkered moral view and drive, a skin as thick as the Great Wall of China, and the ability to kiss the butts of the right people, who are usually self serving fools. This is an odd dichotomy of Master and Servant. One could say a dysfunctional personality would be a huge advantage. This would be especially true in the States where the President is under-paid compared to the men seeking favour and to influence policy, i.e. Big Business Leaders.


With this as a starting point for the majority of elected leaders, (Not all, I have met, and read of, some exceptions, like our Favourite Son) it is no doubt that we are constantly choosing the lesser of two evils.

So let us assume that G W is the lesser (d)evil. What type of president is he? I think that it is safe to say that as a business man, Governor and President he is a deligater. (In his case this may be an absolute God send!)

We can argue this point at some other time, I will haul out my references at some stage and write a piece on this.

So where does this leave the free world, who is at the helm? When comes to the internal politics of the USA, I have no clue who he sends the job cards to, and frankly, even less interest. All I can say is they are doing fairly well compared to the rest of the world. When it comes to Foreign Policy, I have my suspicions. There is a strange consistency in the scope of American influence in world history.

Quick, a Pop Quiz!

What is the one clear link between:

Democratic Republic of Congo (formally Zaire), Panama, Iran, Iraq, Columbia, Angola, etc etc?

What links Saddam, Osama and Manuel?

Yes, there is a clear link - CIA sponsorship and sanction at some time in history. The lesser of many evils in each respect? Someone thought so, or they had great prescience in creating a future for themselves.

Once again, I will supply references, but from my personal point of view, I have met the bastards in far to many places for it to be a co-incidence.

So, if there is a foreign policy that is hammered out by the CIA, who is the CIA? Remember that class bully that was sexually dysfunctional and had a really sadistic streak? Remember the nerd with no sense of the real world, but enough theory to solve the world's problems, but only in theory?

Well that's them. Only this time they have guns, money and an evil master plan. Oh yes, and the most subversive of secret weapons, Fox Network.

This sly Fox ran a very powerful network, and he and his friends convinced over 60% the American population that one or all of the fundamental pieces of mis-information used to promote the war, were true.

Source:
Study: Wrong impressions helped support Iraq war

There are many other sources to this, to go back to first principles is too time consuming for this arena. I will for money, though.

So now we have the CIA all over the place. They even cropped up at Wouter Basson's trial, in sunny South Africa!

CIA, anthrax, Wouter


But, where are their offices, you may argue. Well, they are there, but you can’t just go around sticking up CIA offices, so they use front companies and American Aid Groups, such as Christians in Action. (CIA, get it) I have bumped into the characters in many distant and diverse places, and believe you me, they wern't’t site seeing! The conversion ratio was high though.

So now we know, it is the 'Christians in Action' who link all these countries and people, and they dictate foreign policy.

So, if you are a small third world country, a terrorist harbouring nation, a follower of Islam, be very careful of the Christians.

And don't forget, G W Bush is a Christian, so be careful of Bush.

And so maybe, since he's a Christian, and Christian's front the CIA, maybe, just maybe, G W is not so stupid, and is in charge after all. Beware, G W might just be the man with the (evil) plan!

0n…..Violence, cowardice and being sensible.

Friday, March 04, 2005

"There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people."
Muhammad Ali
Shaun Brian's corollary:
"There are more pleasant things to do than be beaten up by people."

Let's get one thing straight, according to some, I am a bit of a coward, in my terms a pacifist. I do not feel the need to prove my point at the risk of a broken nose. I do not feel the need to escalate a situation of potential (or actual) violence to prove my point, or to prove that I am a man. I avoid physical confrontation at all cost. Often this is not too much of a problem for me, being 6 foot three and weighing 100kg. I use my reluctance for conflict as a tool, I appear confident, therefore the opposition doesn't really want to find out whether I am a black belt or a sheep in wolf's clothing. (The name of Shaun should give them a hint).

I have a background that involves a stint as an officer in the infantry and as being the head of a security company that provided training for close protection officers, better known as bodyguards. These points on my CV seem to indicate that I would welcome a good fight. I don't. At this stage of my life, I believe that I have better things to do. Due to my training, as well as due to my ability to judge character at 100yards, I always enter a room/venue/club and try and spot the troublemakers. You know the one's I mean, the short guy who has a point to prove, the guy shouting about his last fight, the guy with a gun at his ankle, the guy wearing the karate suite. Once I have done this, I avoid them. I make no conversation with them and if they jostle me, bump me, spill drinks on me or insult my friends, I do not comment or retaliate in any way. I simply try and lose myself in the background and appear as if I am not worth confronting.

As an extra defence, I always make a point of befriending the bouncers at the clubs I go to - I am not gushing, just friendly and I never expect a free entry. Most of them warm to me, and if some tosser gets out of hand, I simply defer to them - after all, they are paid to fight. I have angered one or two potential heavy-weight contenders by inviting them to take the fight outside, walking out with them and promptly turning and heading straight back in. While the bouncers refuse them re-entry. This usually costs about 200 bucks and staying at the club until my foe passes out, leaves out of boredom, or finds an alternative contender, add another 200 to my bar bill.

Sometimes though, things can go wrong. The most common cause of this is an ignorant friend (I am avoiding saying woman with the greatest restraint). I don't know what it is, but some people just gravitate towards the "bad boy" in the room. Often this is fine, but sometimes that bad boy has no brains, no sense of humour and a recently acquired black belt in the most violent of martial arts.

To make things worse, when you tell your friend to avoid this weapon of mass destruction at all costs, they seem to think that it is an invitation to form an alliance with them and to discuss you and your weaknesses at length - I speak from experience.

Once, we came across just such a character: a Neanderthal of little brain-power, and lightning fast hands that made Jacky Chan look like he performs in slow motion. Add to this a venue with no bouncers and the only potential male support a group of gay ex-ballerinas, and you will understand my predicament. Now all of this could have been avoided had my beloved then better-half listened to my early advice of "steer clear", but the darling that she is simply had to initiate a conversation, and involve me in it. I won’t go into details, but things got nasty fairly quickly. Fortunately I was not present for the first smack that some 52 kg queen received. I heard all about it though (We had vacated the previous venue and moved on; the only sensible move made all night). While in the middle of describing what they would love to do to the Neanderthal, in he walked, heard the story and administered the second short, sharp smack to another member of our party. (no more rouge needed now!)

At this stage it was time to go, I was certain. But no, by now my dearly beloved had decided that her evening was not going to be ruined by this jerk, and so tried to explain to him how he a had ruined her evening. My heart was now pounding, and not in anticipation, but with unbridled fear. To make it worse, everyone was now looking to me to sort out said Neanderthal. Well, this called for action, and action I took. I called my bouncer friends and asked them to please come and sort the problem out.

They did, thank God. I felt like a coward, but when I think about it now, I know I made the right decision - and here is my point - there is no point in fighting a battle you cannot win, and if you have the right friends, who says you have to fight your own battles.

My survival advice is as follows: don't escalate the problem unless it is life threatening, do not react. Rely on professionals. Lose the first battle to win the war - put pride in your pocket.

But just in case my cell goes on the blink, and I can't call my friends, as of tomorrow, I am back in the Dojo.

Footnote:

The Reluctant Messiah's advice on physical confrontation:

"Talk fast, think faster, run fastest."