On Writing my first Novel...
Sunday, February 13, 2005"Fiction is not a dream. Nor is it guesswork. It is imagining based on facts, and the facts must be accurate or the work of imagining will not stand up."
-Margaret Culkin Banning
I am planning my first novel and this quote perfectly illustrates the problem I have. Unlike many first time novelists I only have one problem, but right now it seems insurmountable. Because good fiction is based on fact, or if it is truly good fiction, the world believes it to be based on fact, readers assume that the work is a first hand description by the author of something they have experienced, or would like to experience.
The typical problems a new writer has don't bother me. I know I want to write. My ego is large enough to believe that I have a talent. I have a word processor, spell check and I've read all the "how to" books ever published. I have the time. I have the lonely evenings. I have a publisher who has expressed interest. I even have four novels lurking in my head, and all I need to do is commit these to paper.
My problem is, if I write about any subject, fiction or non-fiction, at my very first interview I will be asked, "How much of the story is factual, how much is true to you?" Like John Irving, I will answer "All, and nothing". Because my ego does not allow me to think anything apart from the fact that my book will be a resounding success, I know that it will be published world-wide and stocked in every good bookstore; so it is inevitable that my family will read it.
So here's the problem: I have certain members of my family - like my mother - who would not look out of place in a fanatical religious cult. They are of the type who believe that by reading Harry Potter my kids will become the spawn of Satan. (They will actually become the spawn of mediocrity). They believe that swearing is a mortal sin, punishable by flogging (which they believe is OK). Unless I write a saccharine sweet novel that is full of happy families, and contains no tortured relationships, no drugs, no magicians, no crime and certainly no sex, I am stuffed. Seriously stuffed. I will receive a phone call for every evil reference in my disgusting novel. I will have ministers, councilors and exorcists calling at my mother's plea. Social services will be approached to take my children away. The publishing house will be picketed and my mother would ask total strangers what she had done to deserve this. And this is only my mother, who is the sane one.
You may laugh, but my life would become hell. The books in my head are very troublesome in this regard - one is about a sexual deviant who sells out his friends, the next is about a cop who discovers he's, well, different, and the third is about a writer with a bad childhood and cold distant parents.
The answer is, of course, to have a pseudonym, but this will never work, because they need my photo for the book jacket - I would never allow an impostor to lay claim to my novel (ego again). I want to become a writer to gain the credibility I have never had, and to appear intellectually superior. Difficult if you hide behind a false name. Then there are the TV appearances, interviews, cameo film roles, premiers of the film version, and everything else a top author must endure. No, my own name must stay.
The only solution is to delay until the problem members of my family are dead. Then I can write guilt free. So now this is a waiting game.
There is actually one other solution: write the books now. Secure a book deal. Just before the book is released murder my fanatical relatives, and that way I will ensure the success of my books. And I will have the material for my next book. And there will certainly be a film. I will use the tortured childhood of one of my characters as a defence, and be free in six months. I will be notorious - this is actually a darn good idea. I'll start planning now.
How much of this is what I am actually thinking? All of it and none of it - just wait and see.
-Margaret Culkin Banning
I am planning my first novel and this quote perfectly illustrates the problem I have. Unlike many first time novelists I only have one problem, but right now it seems insurmountable. Because good fiction is based on fact, or if it is truly good fiction, the world believes it to be based on fact, readers assume that the work is a first hand description by the author of something they have experienced, or would like to experience.
The typical problems a new writer has don't bother me. I know I want to write. My ego is large enough to believe that I have a talent. I have a word processor, spell check and I've read all the "how to" books ever published. I have the time. I have the lonely evenings. I have a publisher who has expressed interest. I even have four novels lurking in my head, and all I need to do is commit these to paper.
My problem is, if I write about any subject, fiction or non-fiction, at my very first interview I will be asked, "How much of the story is factual, how much is true to you?" Like John Irving, I will answer "All, and nothing". Because my ego does not allow me to think anything apart from the fact that my book will be a resounding success, I know that it will be published world-wide and stocked in every good bookstore; so it is inevitable that my family will read it.
So here's the problem: I have certain members of my family - like my mother - who would not look out of place in a fanatical religious cult. They are of the type who believe that by reading Harry Potter my kids will become the spawn of Satan. (They will actually become the spawn of mediocrity). They believe that swearing is a mortal sin, punishable by flogging (which they believe is OK). Unless I write a saccharine sweet novel that is full of happy families, and contains no tortured relationships, no drugs, no magicians, no crime and certainly no sex, I am stuffed. Seriously stuffed. I will receive a phone call for every evil reference in my disgusting novel. I will have ministers, councilors and exorcists calling at my mother's plea. Social services will be approached to take my children away. The publishing house will be picketed and my mother would ask total strangers what she had done to deserve this. And this is only my mother, who is the sane one.
You may laugh, but my life would become hell. The books in my head are very troublesome in this regard - one is about a sexual deviant who sells out his friends, the next is about a cop who discovers he's, well, different, and the third is about a writer with a bad childhood and cold distant parents.
The answer is, of course, to have a pseudonym, but this will never work, because they need my photo for the book jacket - I would never allow an impostor to lay claim to my novel (ego again). I want to become a writer to gain the credibility I have never had, and to appear intellectually superior. Difficult if you hide behind a false name. Then there are the TV appearances, interviews, cameo film roles, premiers of the film version, and everything else a top author must endure. No, my own name must stay.
The only solution is to delay until the problem members of my family are dead. Then I can write guilt free. So now this is a waiting game.
There is actually one other solution: write the books now. Secure a book deal. Just before the book is released murder my fanatical relatives, and that way I will ensure the success of my books. And I will have the material for my next book. And there will certainly be a film. I will use the tortured childhood of one of my characters as a defence, and be free in six months. I will be notorious - this is actually a darn good idea. I'll start planning now.
How much of this is what I am actually thinking? All of it and none of it - just wait and see.
